The twenty-fifth anniversary of a significant event, that is the definition of a silver jubilee. On the 25th of March 2020 we will be celebrating such an event. My husband and I would then be married for twenty five years and be together for twenty eight.
I loved our wedding. My dress was made specially for me (I still have it) and I purposefully wanted it plain. The earrings were the something old, borrowed and blue-ish traditional items. My husband’s aunt loaned them to me for the wedding. I chose white gladioli for my bouquet, and that is the only thing I would now change. My husband always gave me and still gives me orange or red gladioli when he brings me flowers. I should have picked a vibrant colour, but I wanted everything to be understated. For the life of me I can’t remember why – we both love colour. We had a great time with all our friends and family. Everything was as near to perfect as I could have wished for and I even ate quite a lot, even though I’ve heard that some brides are too nervous or too excited to eat. I was also absolutely sure that I was marrying the right man.
Then married life with all its intricacies hit full force. Some aspects were great and others not so great and some just horrendous. The best three things of our marriage are not things, but three amazing humans – our children. Kids bring fresh joy, but also substantial stress to a marriage. This of course is also the time when you tend to lose each other, because there is just so much time and energy to go around. With enough determination and just sticking it out long enough, you find the other person again. It may be a different version of that person, but the one you love nonetheless.
To be married to the same person for so long is really hard. It takes self examination, honesty and lots of forgiveness from both partners, to stay. I’ve wanted to leave the marriage and so has he. Through honest communication and taking responsibility for our actions we have managed to build a better partnership. We are still growing, still getting to know all the different aspects of the other person and trying to have as much fun as possible while doing it. We had to learn that we cannot heal each other when we are still broken. You have to heal yourself first to be of any use to others.
So, what do I want for my 25th wedding anniversary? I want a fantastic, marvelous, over the top, joyous next 25 years. Platinum jewellery would also be welcome and of course bright red gladioli.